REAL HONEST LIFE

Those words were put in my title for a reason. I wanted to be able to blog about important real things that happen in our lives. That has ended up being a difficult thing to do. I have met so many wonderful people and have been able to take a peek into your lives. Eveyone seems to have such a 'normal' drama free life! Of course I do know that we all deal with difficult issues. So, here is a peek into my REAL life.
Friday around 5:30 I recieved a phone call from my sister. She was at work and someone had called her and told her that they were watching the news and saw a story about two guys robbing a store and shooting at a witness. She said they had named my oldest son Billy. My heart sunk and I began to shake inside. I quickly turned on the news and began to search the story online. I kept telling myself that I had just seen Billy several hours ago at work. Surely this did not all happen in the past hour. Then it hit me. It had to be his dad-my exhusband. They both have the same name. I grabbed the phone and called the detention center. I gave her the name and she said, "Yes, he is here." I asked her to please tell me his birthday. When she did a wave of relief came over me. It was not my son. Thank God. But then the real emotions set in. I have to tell my boys what their father was involved in (he was not the shooter) . Of course this would not be the first time they would have to learn the hard truth. My exhusband does have a history of drug and alcohol problems and has been in some minor trouble with the law. The first thing I did is drive to Billy (my son's) house and hug his neck. He was a little upset that we would even consider the fact that it was him. He said he is not that stupid. Then the most critical and painful thing I had to do was to tell Aaron. Aaron and his dad are very close. Very! My heart was breaking for him. He had not really talked about it much in the past few days and is having a hard time with this. I know that his dad will get out on bond and I REFUSE to let the kids go to visit him. I was not aware that he had sunk back into his drug problem and I feel terrible that I had even been letting them visit him. I have changed Aaron's phone number and have let the schools know that he cannot pick them up. I know this is dangerous ground that I am treading on. I know when he finds out that I am keeping his kids from him that he will retaliate. I know the degree of his anger and wrath. Once again I will walk on egg shells and constantly look over my shoulder. I am greatly struggling with all these emotions. It is so difficult to open up this part of my life to all of you. But this is our real life. And although I have been divorced for 12 years I am never free of this man or the repercussions of what he does in his life. It will always affect my kids which in turn affects me. I hope my children take this as a learning lesson for life. When you get involved in drugs and alcohol and you do not choose the right friends something bad can and WILL happen.
Please pray for my boys and mostly Aaron as we deal with this.
Thank you :)