More Disappointments

I feel like things are just spinning out of control. I need to get a grip on this emotional rollercoaster. I headed to yet another doctor today- an internist. I have seen all other doctors and she is my last hope for an answer. I did not learn anything new today but I did pray that she would be a doctor who would listen and take time with me. That prayer was answered. She is confident that we can get to the bottom of this. I am now on some very serious medicine that does have side effects but what choice do I have now. The hives have taken over my face. I have never had them on my face and have always been able to hide them. I felt like a freak walking thru the office today. I look in the mirror and just do not see myself. I am desperate for answers. The stress of everything else is not helping matters. I have now learned that the boys' dad is also being charged in another county for breaking into cars and stealing possesions. 13 counts. I just don't understand why he does not realize how this affects his children. When his name is splattered on the news and his children step into school, people know. It is such an embarassment for them. I wish we could just run away and start over. I want to take them all and hold them so close. I want to protect them and yet they sometimes act like they don't need it. Like they are strong enough on their own. More than anything I need my health now. I need to be there for them. I need to hold this family together. I need healing. Physical and emotional. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I know there is an end in sight. Austin reminded me that something good always comes out of something bad. Smart kid! I will hold onto that.